On These Pages Are The Stories Of Our Family We Go Together ! Welcome To The World As Viewed Through Our Eyes
Lynette .......... Caedmon .......... Libby .......... Tom

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Crazy Love (Lynette's Thoughts)

Prompted by a recommendation by a reader of one of his blog posts, Tom picked up a copy of Francis Chan’s Crazy Love as his vacation read. He powered through the book in the first few days here and then, encouraged me to read it as well. I was in the middle of a fiction novel and not so eager to put it aside for nonfiction. This is, after all, vacation, and I was inclined to give my mind a break. I promised to read it next, but he insisted that it was worth reading sooner rather than later. I am not one to read two books at one time and also not very good at putting down a good book. I have been known to stay up way too late because I just can’t stop reading until I get to the end of a book. However, I felt convicted to put aside my pleasure reading and read Crazy Love more out of my love for Tom and desire to please him than anything else.

Perhaps, though, it was more the Holy Spirit’s prompting that I read the book than Tom’s. After reading the book, I understand why Tom pressured me to read it. I find myself thinking of more and more people who I know would benefit from reading it. I have found myself convicted, inspired, excited… my mind has been continuously churning over the ideas presented in the book.

I am still chewing on much of what I read. I feel convicted to make changes in my life but at the same time feel overwhelmed by all of it. I know that Tom has written his book review (as of writing this, I haven’t yet read it) but I don’t know that I can put what I read into a review. It has touched me on a deeper level and I feel it is something that I am working out between God and me. We’ve been talking a lot since I started the book…or rather I’ve been talking and probably need to find some time to be quiet so He can speak to me.

I have become complacent, lazy, busy, selfish, tired…I have forgotten what it is to seek to be less of me so that others may see more of Him. I can recall many times in my life when I have savored times in His Word and in communion with the Lord through prayer; times when I served out of a wholehearted love for Him and for people; times when I had to rely fully upon Him to sustain me. Sadly, those times are a distant memory of late. I have become too comfortable. I still desire that relationship with my Savior but I have not taken the time to build it.

How did I get from missionary life to doctor’s wife? More importantly, why did I let that change my relationship with the Lord. I don’t doubt that He ordained both my time in Okinawa and my present life in Texas. I do wonder if I am doing what He wants me to do in my current life. I have a feeling His plans for me are bigger but I need to be willing to seek Him more to know what that means.

Since having kids, I have worried time and again about how Tom and I will grow our marriage relationship. We are very choosy about who watches our kids so we rarely get time as a couple. We are both tired in the evenings, and most often, choose to watch TV. A few times a year we manage to sneak in a date while some family is visiting. While our marriage is still strong, I find myself thinking of the warnings given by any marriage “expert” or long married couple that a couple must make time for each other or you will grow apart. I even dragged Tom to a marriage conference a few months ago in an effort to ward off any decay in our relationship. While this is important, I realize that I have not been heeding that same advice in regards to my relationship with the Lord. I have neglected my First Love. More than my need to lose weight and get in shape, to keep the house clean, or even to keep my marriage strong, my relationship with Jesus must be foremost in my life. I don’t know what He has in store for me…for Tom and me …for our family…but I want to know. I want to be a part of His plan.

I have been burdened lately by the weightiness of being given the responsibility as stewards of my children. More than anything I want them to “love the Lord [their] God with all [their] heart and soul and mind and strength,” and yet I realize that I am not setting the example I should. I must. I must long after my Lord that my life always points to Him.

That means change must be in store. Change for how I prioritize my time...how I spend my money…what I think about …who I am. Reverting to my old ways, that task seems too great. However, it is not my burden to carry alone. My Jesus is all I need and He will carry me ever closer to Him if I only submit to His will and follow obediently.

We left home thinking that vacation would return us to Texas rested and relaxed. However, now convicted and contemplating, I think there may be even greater changes in store.

Don’t read Crazy Love if you’re looking for a light beach read. Read it only if you are willing to be convicted and challenged to go deeper in your Christian walk than ever before. It’s crazy! But then, so is God’s love for us.

5 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing, you two! I love how honest you both are in your posts...it's encouraging to me. We're doing Crazy Love as a women's study this fall, but it's only on Wednesday nights, the same as our small group. I think I may have to read it on my own now!

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  2. I sure loved reading your thoughts on Crazy Love. Our mom's group is going to be reading/studying/discussing it throughout the fall months (on Sunday nights). I am SO excited (just ordered 20 books!). I'm dying to start reading it right now!

    Miss you!

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  3. Well darn. I guess now I will have to read a book that will convict me after reading both yours and Tom's reviews. Your post resonated with me and where I am too.

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  4. And I just requested it from our public library. The next copy is due Sept 16 so I have time to finish my fiction :)

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  5. Hi friend! I'm so glad that you were able to read this book as well! I just finished reading it, and wrote my thoughts on it as well. I'm glad that you have been convicted and challenged through the read, and trust God to work it through your life and your relationship with Him!

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