On These Pages Are The Stories Of Our Family We Go Together ! Welcome To The World As Viewed Through Our Eyes
Lynette .......... Caedmon .......... Libby .......... Tom

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I Love Mama!

Officially, separation anxiety is supposed to begin somewhere around 9 months of age and last for a few months. In Caedmon's case, it has been an ongoing issue. We have always been active and he has been in nursery since 4 months of age. For the first two years of his life, he was in our church nursery at least twice a week for 2 or more hours at a time. Alas, apparently he likes his mama...A LOT...because at age 2 1/2 he is still railing against the notion of being separated from me. I guess that should make me feel good, but it does get rather frustrating at times, especially since we don't have family around so I am on duty 24/7.

At our church, we have been blessed to have two nursery coordinators (one for Sundays and one for Tuesday Bible study) who were willing to go above and beyond to help Caedmon adjust. As long as I was okay with it, they were willing to work through the crying and help him to realize that church nursery is a fun place to be. Unfortunately, we got out of our consistent routine for a number of reasons (moving farther away, Libby's arrival, etc). With the lack of consistency, Caedmon regressed and became even harder to leave.

The one really consistent thing I've done over the past two years is attend MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) twice a month at a church closer to our new house. Caedmon has never really warmed up to that experience and it was becoming more of a problem this year since I am in a leadership position for the group.

I have really been struggling with how to help Caedmon overcome this issue. I even had a chance encounter with a child psychologist at a playground one day. She dug herself into a hole when she started commenting on Caedmon's advanced language skills and a few other things she noticed about him. It was the perfect opening for me to ask about his separation issues. She wasn't concerned because of his age and how he acted on the playground but she did try to give me some ideas to help him. I've tried to implement a few but really need to continue trying some others. Ultimately, prayer is what I have been relying on most and I am so thankful to have lots of faithful prayer warriors standing with me on this one.

We have had two major breakthroughs this week. First, we made it through an entire MOPS meeting without me having to leave. As it turned out, he spent most of the time in the hall chatting with one of the nursery workers. While this isn't the final result I hope to see, at least it is a step in the right direction. The second breakthrough came this morning at church. He talked really bravely the whole way there about going to "church school to see the puppets and learn about Jesus." Once again, the tears came before I even left. The really sweet thing is that Caedmon wants to not cry. He tries so hard to be brave but the closer we get to his classroom the more his lip quivers. These past two times, he has pulled back his shoulders, held his head high and marched into the classroom with tears pouring down his cheeks. It makes me love him all the more to see how hard he tries. I sat through the entire church service waiting to see his number glare at me on the monitor, but alas, no number. My little man bravely made it through the whole service (last week he only made it about 10 minutes!). When I went to retrieve him from his room, he was in the arms of the teacher. However, the eyes, albeit a little red and puffy, were dry. He was so proud of himself that I thought he might burst. He talked about it all day long - staying in "church school" without mommy, sliding down the slide during playtime, seeing the puppets who talked about Jesus, and how proud mommy, daddy and L-girl are of him.

I'm sure our struggle is not completely over...but I think we're heading in the right direction. Thank you to everyone who is praying with us through this. When Caedmon decides to move to Timbuktu someday, remind us of these prayers!

2 comments:

  1. glad to hear (read) of the good progress! Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I will be praying that he continues to make progress... way to go Caedmon!

    ReplyDelete

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